dino-rawr

At the 1997 World Women's Conference the first speaker from England
   stood up: "At last years' conference we spoke about being more
   assertive with our husbands. Well after the conference I went home and
   told my husband that I would no longer cook for him and that he would
   have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the
   second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had
   cooked a wonderful roast lamb."

   The crowd cheered.

   The second speaker from America stood up: "After last years'
   conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer do
   his laundry and that he would have to do it himself. After the first
   day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the
   third day I saw that he had done not only his own washing but my
   washing as well."

   The crowd cheered.

   The third speaker from Australia stood up: "After last years'
   conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer do
   his shopping and that he would have to do it himself. After the first
   day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the
   third day I could see a little bit out of my left eye."

mikemcme:

As I was peeing at school (in the bathroom, of course) today I was inspired by the freshly painted white cement wall. I whipped out my sharpie and scribbled down “Bathroom Haiku,” and after some thought,”#1.” Just in case I’m peeing and come up with another one. Underneath that I wrote

The unzip of pants.
The man standing next to you,
He watches you pee.

Now the next person to stand at that urinal will have something to read and if they’re real lucky, they’ll get creeped out by the guy next to him.

#2

gee, this place smells bad

it doesn’t take  much effort 

i wish people would flush

math ruins lives

sitting in math class today, after deciding that i would have to switch out because it was too hard and what it meant to my future, i thought to myself ” what if i’m just not cut out for a life of success” with so much focus on succeeding today it is obvious that not all of us will make it, so why not just relax and let the people who deserve it take the lead. i also think that its unfair that my performance as a teenager should affect the outcome of my life. i mean, we are at the peak of confusion here and they expect us to put that aside and think of the futures we probably wont have, strive towards the goal we wont reach. and in the end be let down and be forced to settle into our lives working the desk job in your cubicle with the picture of the window drawn in purple crayon. if your that lucky, see because you dropped out of mixed math in grade 11 means you cant GET that job because you are OBVIOUSLY not able to do math, not that we ever use a parabola again in everyday life or could remember it at that point in our lives, but that doesn’t matter because you needed to know it 12 years ago to be able to pass. anyways, i’m headed for my life of banality. see you there.

facepalm.jpg